Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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