She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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