The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
