I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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