he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
