Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have aggressive nipples.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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