So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
