This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
