I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize