I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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