I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
