Redeem this text for a blowjob
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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