Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
