would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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