I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
