i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
