whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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