I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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