My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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