He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
