i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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