What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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