Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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