Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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