operation harelip BJ is a go
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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