it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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