This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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