I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
