I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have feelings that need drinking.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
