There is no way he is gay with that hair.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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