Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
