Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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