It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
