i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So much Jack, so little girl.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize