so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
