I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
