I am spending my child support on dildos
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
