I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
