There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize