its not stalking. its research.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
