that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
