I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
