his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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