My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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