Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
