youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
