She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
