jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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