thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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