it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I love you.
Bad choice
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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