dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize