IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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