Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
