btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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