grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
