the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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