are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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