OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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