i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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