There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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