You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
