I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
