That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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