can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
