a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This house was built for laser tag.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
