I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Randomize
