ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
