Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
