Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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