My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
