3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
