at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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