Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
