he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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