whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
