Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
