Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
